:]

How are you?

I feel like I have a love-hate relationship with that question. sometimes, I like answering that question because things are going well and everything is fantastic and I want others to know. but other times, it causes me to really look at my life and analyze and realize things. and I'm very selective when I analyze. so I usually look at all the stuff that's bringing me down. which is why I often don't like answering that question. things have really brought my spirits down lately.


These past 24 hours... I've been happy and I've been sad. I've been bursting with emotion and I've been extremely apathetic. I've laughed and I've cried. I've argued and laughed with the same person. I was disappointed and encouraged. I was confused. I doubted things. I stepped back. I was mortified and disgusted and saddened. I was speechless and I talked too much.
that tends to make for an intense day. and it truly was.


pacifists and peacemakers. tragedy and destruction. two very different things. love and hate; peace and war; everything in between. because sometimes life is happy, and sometimes it is sad. and sometimes it can be both, at the same time.

"I'm ready to live, I’m ready to dream, I'm ready for fear and love; and everything between"
I really like that.

rants, raves, poetry, prose, lyrics, thoughts, ideas and hope. sometimes I'll laugh and sometimes I'll cry; I just might scream. there will be singing- in this lifetime.


although I hate to think on this- it is a good thing to be reminded that we aren't immortal and life can't last forever. it makes me take things into serious consideration; what am I doing? why am I doing it? how am I doing it? how long can I keep this up? Is this really worth fighting for?

it's hard to see into the future. it's hard to make plans for the next few years of your life, because tomorrow could turn your world upside down, or end it. I don't want to make plans, I want to give myself options and suggestions. it might be safer that way. less disappointments maybe, I'm not sure.