au.

I think everyone should watch this.


http://vimeo.com/3348135

Fourth Drink Instinct :]

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends (make me #1 so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
I've got ten friends and a crowbar that says you ain't gonna do jack.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Neon

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Miss Delaney

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Miserable at best

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Simple, Starving to be safe.

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
When I got home, you're so dead

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Hope.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Teasing to please

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I still ain't over you

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Cancer

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Layla

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
All my loving

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Castle bound

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
How to be dead

WHAT WILL YOU/did you DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Disenchanted

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
I miss you (aww)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
She's got style

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Boston

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Last Nite

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Dusk and Summer

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I sing I swim

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
The Fourth Drink Instinct

ugh.

it's okay to let people know that you're not "normal"

I don't even know what the true definition of normal is anymore.
there are so many words that have just been mutilated by society.

love. random. normal. hate. beauty.
bring back the true meaning.


love someone with all your heart. don't hold back. love without expectations. love without holding a grudge.

random. ahh, you know. if you post a "random video" everyday. it's not so random. because you've made it a point to be random every day; you've taken the randomness out of it. random means without pattern.

normal. wow. I don't know how to sum that up in words. you really can't.

hate. okay. you hate the devil, you don't hate mcdonalds. you might find it disgusting and greasy with their mutant earthworm burgers, but you don't hate it. you don't hate people. you hate sin, you hate fallen angels. you hate walmart. joke. you don't hate walmart, you just hate their state of cleanliness. you don't hate people, but when you treat them like dirt, it can often be burned into their minds that they're not good enough for you. well, everyone is equal, no? if you make a rude remark about someone, it can be hurtful and it can often give the impression that you "hate" or dislike them.

beauty. the perception of beauty has been cut and tucked and edited. I'm not sure why, but I can tell you something; I HATE IT. you're not on the cover of ELLE magazine, but you're still beautiful. you don't have a "perfect" body, but you're still beautiful. you don't have long silky hair, but you're still beautiful. I've never seen an ugly person, there just isn't one. now, there are people with ugly attitudes that can reflect on their appearance, but you're not ugly. you're beautiful and you deserve to know that.



bits of advice: be yourself. yes, that sounds cliche, but next time you turn on your ipod or a movie or buy new clothes ask yourself: is this really what I want? If [insert influential name here] hadn't told me this was so cute or that it was their favorite, would I still be standing here putting in this DVD or taking out my wallet? do things for yourself and what you like, because if you live your life for others, than you lose the whole YOUR life thing.

twentyone.

I just got 21 books from the library.

Yes. I just rediscovered my love for books and reading and escaping this world to go be other people. :D

And they're about; Self-mutilation, abuse, drinking, meth addiction, debt, eating disorders, Corrie Ten Boom(for school), homosexuality and dealing with it, dealing with cancer, schizophrenics, Wicca, cults, rebellion and a "wild child", pilgrim's progress(again, for school), cape cod, exploring your identity... and a few cliche love stories for good measure :]


wish me luck :D

and, I only stopped because it wouldn't let me get anymore :[

030409

Of all the times I've said "word's cannot express" this is the time I have really meant that.


There is absolutely no way to prepare for this. and there never will be.

even though it has happened billions of times, and will continue to happen; it's just as heartbreaking.

When something like this happens, it's like everything has to restart.
now we'll be counting down; first day without you. first week. first month. first holiday. first birthday. first time we've laughed. first time we've cried. first time we've spilled our guts and let everyone know what is on our minds.


Rest in peace just isn't enough...

there never is enough.
no words can console the broken hearts, I know this all too well...

There is absolutely no way to prepare for this. and there never will be.

even though it has happened billions of times, and will continue to happen; it's just as heartbreaking.

When something like this happens, it's like everything has to restart.
now we'll be counting down; first day without you. first week. first month. first holiday. first birthday. first time we've laughed. first time we've cried. first time we've spilled our guts and let everyone know what is on our minds.


Rest in peace just isn't enough...

there never is enough.
no words can console the broken hearts, I know this all too well...

disorganized.

What does it mean when people say live your life on the edge?


live without regrets?
live with much love?
how about both.


You know, I might shout and make my opinions known. but, I can be shy.


but, I don't want to be.

I want everyone to know what's on my mind. well, not 24/7 because that could get me into some trouble, or really embarrese myself.

but, you know what I mean.

You know, you really haven't lived unless you've just stopped and let loose and didn't care what others thought. until you've danced or sang in public. spontaneously, that is.

Make a fool of yourself at Chili's on a Friday afternoon. it makes memories and you can squeeze in a few laughs.

ask questions. you can learn so much when you just ask. and you may not be the only one learning, questions are for everyone, you can learn so much if you would just speak up.



it's okay to let people know that you're not "normal"

I don't even know what the true defintion of normal is anymore.
there are so many words that have just been mutilated by society.

love. random. normal. hate. beauty.
bring back the true meaning.


love someone with all your heart. don't hold back. love without expectations. love without holding a grudge.

random. ahh, you know. if you post a "random video" everyday. it's not so random. because you've made it a point to be random every day that you've taken the randomness out of it. random means without pattern.

normal. wow. I don't know how to sum that up in words. you really can't.

hate. okay. you hate the devil, you don't hate mcdonalds. you might find it disgusting and greasy with their mutant earthworm burgers, but you don't hate it. you don't hate people. you hate sin, you hate fallen angels. you hate walmart. joke. you don't hate walmart, you just hate their state of cleanliness. you don't hate people, but when you treat them like dirt, it can often be burned into their minds that they're not good enough for you. well, everyone is equal, no? if you make a rude remark about someone, it can be hurtful and it can often give the impression that you "hate" or dislike them.

beauty. the perception of beauty has been cut and tucked and edited. I'm not sure why, but I can tell you something; I HATE IT. you're not on the cover of ELLE magazine, but you're still beautiful. you don't have a "perfect" body, but you're still beautiful. you don't have long silky hair, but you're still beautiful. I've never seen an ugly person, there just isn't one. now, there are people with ugly attitudes that can reflect on their appearance, but you're not ugly. you're beautiful and you deserve to know that.



bits of advice: be yourself. yes, that sounds cliche, but next time you turn on your ipod or a movie or buy new clothes ask yourself: is this really what I want? If [insert influential name here] hadn't told me this was so cute or that it was their favorite, would I still be standing here putting in this DVD or taking out my wallet? do things for yourself and what you like, because if you live your life for others, than you lose the whole YOUR life thing.