Speculation and Scrutiny

Scars mark your mind, thoughts and skin
they are there to mock and remind
of the pain and the heartache
of how quick hearts can break

memories of harsh times
of tormented hearts and loves crimes
something you can't forget or push aside
tired eyes from sleepless nights

Lips that lie will not be denied
but, heartaches fade out and die
Thankfully memories and feelings are like scars
there to remind, but also to heal and help us survive

In my idiosyncratic opinion

I think it's the interesting things that keep us on our toes.
It's the tough stuff that keeps us aware.

It's the bad that sheds light on how good the good really is.


a little death. I think we all have a little bit of death in our lives. death of a family member; death of a friend.
suicide.
tragedy.
a series of unfortunate events;
one that ultimately leads to something we never ever wanted.

Honestly, I have a lot on my mind, but not a lot that I'm capable of saying.
Because it's just way too much. It's too powerful and emotional. It's too tragic. It's too complicated.
This life. This life is oh so complicated, and we're never really going to be able to understand it all because it's constantly changing, and by the time we think we have it figured out, a new day begins and we have to start all over again. no two days are the same; no two lives the same. no two hearts and minds the same. even though we have our differences, we're all in this together, and that's important to remember. In our individuality, we find strength.
strength in numbers.
strength in hope.
strength in love.

There are certain people I admire for the life they've lived. the courage; the strength; the hope. the passion. they've kept their faith. they've endured; persevered.

Two words. simple words we never really knew. "it's okay."
It's okay to cry. It's okay to have these feelings. It's okay to fall face down, broken, feeling defeated, an emotional landslide.
It's okay, because It's not over.
you're not done.
there's more.
there's good.
there's love.
there's beauty.
there's pain.
but it's all so beautiful.

it's okay.

There's something so magical about all of this. this life. this death.
I don't want to understand it all.
and I don't even want to try to understand half of it, or even a quarter of it.


Words escape me.
This is just so much.
I wish I had words to say.
I wish I had more love to give.
or rather, I wish i was more capable of giving that love.

Beauty.
Beauty is a daisy pushing through cement.
Beauty is the look in someones eyes when they tell you something important or meaningful to you.
Beauty is the sound of guitar echoing through an empty room.
Beauty is people coming together to help out just one person or family.
Beauty is a father with his arm around his daughter, he knows she doesn't like it, but he also knows this could be his last day on earth.
Beauty is a son stepping up to help his family when his parents are unable to do their regular responsibilities.
Beauty is the sound of a naive child's giggle.
Beauty is a tear in the eye of the strong.
Beauty is everywhere
Everything has it's own way of being beautiful.


nothing is more important.
nothing is more powerful.
than the love of a friend.


Don't take this life or day for granted

Hush little baby

Hush little baby don't say a word;
My life over yours is what is preferred

Hush little baby just try to rest;
You're just too much, and I have enough stress

Hush little baby you would cry too much;
When I'm trying to do school, go to work and such

Hush little baby there's not enough money for you;
If I had to pay for everything, there's no money left for my room with a view

Hush little baby you'd bring my life to a halt;
I'm not to blame for this, it's really never my fault

Hush little baby you would get in the way;
My dreams and hopes for myself would be delayed

Hush little baby I don't have the time for you;
If you were in the picture my life would be through

Hush little baby I'd have to drop out of school;
because nobody else wants to take care of you

Hush little baby I really wasn't thinking;
but now there's nothing left to do but this one thing

Hush little baby you will never cry;
Because you don't get the chance to live, before you're chosen to die

Stand up for these unborn baby's rights;
Because there's never a good reason to end a child's life

Surreal Beauty

We've cut and tucked to be "better"
Better is what they're trying to achieve
They don't think they're enough, they won't believe in themselves
They cry about the same things alone
They're starving themselves
Weakening their mind and their bones
You say you're striving for beauty
But this is destruction
More of the same lifts and reductions
This all seems grossly unconventional and bizarre
Don't you dare change one more thing
You're beautiful; just the way you are